Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Mind Your Own Business! - How Second-Hand Offenses Steal Joy and Divide Friendships

"Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears." (Proverbs 26:17 ESV)

We've all been there.  Two friends or family members we care for a great deal become involved in a dispute over some seemingly ridiculous, inconsequential thing and we feel pressured to enter the fray and 'pick a side'.  But with picking a side comes the all consuming need to carry the perceived offense as one's own and produces a variety of joy-stealing emotional, psychological, and spiritual challenges.  This is generally referred to as a second-hand offense.  It usually begins by giving ear to the frustrations of others, which psychobabble has termed, 'venting'.  As we listen to the person 'vent', we gradually become engaged in a form of co-dependency in which we identify with the offense and make it ours.  Now all of a sudden, we're as mad and upset as the person we have given ear to.  And thus a second-hand offense is born. 

Proverbs 26:17 gives us clear direction for when disputes not our own occur around us: STAY OUT OF IT AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!  

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