Everything Begins with Relationship

Counseling, like a lot of disciplines, is overburdened by format, methodology, and techniques.  At nearly any conference or related gathering of clinicians, the topic invariably comes up, "so what school of thought do you belong to".  Trained as an Adlerian who specializes in children and adolescents, I somehow always seem to gravitate toward the other Adlerians who specialize in children and adolescents.  After all, if we don't make fun of the Gestaltists and Jungians, who will?  But in the midst of all the myriad of therapeutic methods and schools of thought, I was recently reminded that NOTHING matters more than relationship.  

Love covers a multitude of sins.  And more than anything else, relationship is about love.  Its about respecting and caring enough about a person that you want to get to know them on their turf before you put on your glasses of derision, pointing out their every flaw, problem, and cognitive distortion.  Its only when we care enough to get to know people that they'll lower their guard and let us help them.  All the methodology in the world never directly helped anyone.  Rather, like the Apostle Paul, we must become all things to all people that we might save some.

"For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings." (1 Corinthians 9:19-23 ESV)